Hiding 2

Maybe the only thing that is as hard as understanding yourself, is understanding another person. Of course, that’s what make relationships both exciting and maddening: as we get to know a partner, we begin to see and learn about different sides of ourselves.

In my practice, I get a lot of relationship questions, most of them around the topic of “Do we fit?” The woman who purchased this particular reading, had a different question: why is he hiding from me? 

Hiding

Look at the chart: she is represented by the planets circled on the left side of the chart, six of them in Aries. The boyfriend is symbolized by Venus in Pisces, which is circled. Unfortunately, the answer is very clear: he feels overwhelmed by her and simply cannot deal with her demands. Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars and Jupiter in Aries represents an enormous amount of force and demand that his Venus in Pisces is not able to deal with. So he withdraws, he becomes distant, he disappears.

Has he always been like this, I asked, or has your behavior towards him changed of late?

She answered that she had always been the stronger one in the relationship, but currently she wanted him to make a decision about their future and that she had been very upfront about that. I wrote back that, at least from the look of the chart, she has been a little too upfront and that her behavior was either driving him away or scaring him. “But I’m impatient,” she replied.  Yes, with SIX planets in Aries she probably was impatient.

And here’s where things become interesting, at least from the point of astrology. Is she with him because she likes being in control? Will that make her happy in a long-term relationship? Or does she want him to be more forceful and take more control? But what if that’s not who he is or what he wants? Because at the end of the day, she – and all of us – have to know what our needs are and how they fit with our partners.